Perceptions of "right and wrong"

I find myself so unsure about so many things: what I should do; which path I should take; who my real friends are; if I'm doing the right thing; if I'm giving the right advice; how I really feel; what my opinions actually are; who I really am. I have self-confidence but sometimes I lack self-assurance. I can speak my mind and tell the truth and express how I feel, but sometimes I hold back. Maybe it's because I fear rejection. Maybe it's because I am afraid of judgement. Maybe I am tentative to come to a set conclusion because I fear that others won't agree.

This may stem from my childhood. My parents often frequented their own opinions about the world and people and politics and I listened, soaking it all in as the gospel truth. As I grew, perhaps I began to question their beliefs and started to formulate my own. But I never voiced them; I never shared them in fear of creating an argument. Or maybe it was in fear that they would view me differently. Maybe it was because I just wanted to keep these opinions to myself.

But my silence about the world and people and politics has turned into passiveness. Sometimes I don't know what I believe. And most days I see the world in shades of grey instead of permanent black and white. I believe that cheating is wrong. But what if a woman cheats on her husband because he beats her and she just wants to experience some semblance of feeling with someone else? Are her actions justified because she has been treated unjustly? I think that people should not steal. But should we punish a homeless, starving child for stealing a candy bar from the shelf of a grocery store? Do we just turn the child away empty-handed and not give them a second thought? I feel that abortion is a sad and terrible thing. But what if a woman is assaulted and raped and she becomes pregnant with her rapist's baby? Is it acceptable to judge her for terminating her pregnancy when the alternative is giving birth to a child whose existence would be an upsetting reminder of her rape?

People have such strong beliefs and opinions about what they feel is morally "right and wrong" when really, who even knows for sure what is? Who defines "right" and "wrong" and their limitations? People can sit in a room and argue all day about their perceptions of the world but no two people will ever agree absolutely. There will always be a catch, a "but," a grey area.

Maybe that's why I'm so hesitant to form strong opinions and share them with others. Because there will always be a grey area for any belief that I have and there will always be a situation that can have the ability to make me feel differently. I believe that people are not perfect and no one is right all the time and everyone screws up. And I think that maybe instead of being so focused on the reasons why we are "right" or why someone else is "wrong," we should focus on the grey area in between those extremes. Because those are the situations that need attention and mercy and love. Those are the situations that make us forget about our own trivial opinions and connect as human beings.